Christmas is not a time for being happy

by Expendable Friend

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1.
03:01
We get along like a house on fire It's been a month and I really, really like you Yeah I do I hope you feel the same as me I hope that you're as serious about this As I am about you So if you want to make me really happy If you want to let me know how much you care Here is a clue If you want to demonstrate commitment If you want to send a signal of your love Here's what you should do All I want for Christmas is a dachshund (dachshund!) A dachshund (dachshund!) All I want for Christmas is a dachshund (dachshund!) A dachshund (dachshund!) A waggy tail and soulful eyes! Cuddles on a winter's night! The three of us - our happy family! I know you might think it's too soon To talk about having fur-babies together But I disagree I think you'd make a perfect dad I think you'll feel a deep sense of fulfilment When two become three So if you want to make a difference If you want to show your caring side To the world If you want to make Christmas special Listen up, and you might just win out Over everyone else Because all I want for Christmas is a dachshund (dachshund!) A dachshund (dachshund!) All I want for Christmas is a dachshund (dachshund!) A dachshund (dachshund!) All I want for Christmas is a dachshund (dachshund!) A dachshund (dachshund!) All I want for Christmas is a dachshund (dachshund!) A dachshund (dachshund!) DACHSHUND!!
2.
How can I live with myself in these dark days? How can I summon the strength to show my face? You say you care for me, but I can see The smirk you're wearing as you look at me How can I live with myself after today? The children stare as they point, their parents usher them away "Oh Daddy, what's that lady's jumper for? Why doesn't Santa have his trousers on?" YOU MADE ME WEAR IT YOU MADE ME WEAR IT (And I won't forget it) How can I live with myself in such disgrace? How can I ever forget that this took place? You say you care for me, and I might be glad Because no-one else could in an outfit this bad
3.
You didn't invite me to your Christmas party Even though you knew that I was in You didn't invite me, though you surely knew I'd hear it Because the wall between our flats is paper-thin What should I think; am I not worth an invite? Maybe there were just too many to fit me in? Maybe at the last one I did something stupid? But I don't *think* I did... You didn't invite me to your Christmas party The one where you were playing drinking games I tried not to hear it, but my TV doesn't Go up loud enough to compensate Why should I care if your friends had a great time While I sat being lonely in my one-bedroom flat? Watching repeats of Dad's Army and ET In a tear-soaked Santa hat? Because you didn't invite me...
4.
January, month of kings (Month of kings) Hark! Your credit card, it sings! (La la la ooh) Throw the dead tree in the bin (Nice and brown) Drag your flabby body to the gym!

about

It's CHRIIIIIIISTMASSSSSSSSSS! And now you can celebrate with 4 tracks of festive, acoustic goodness from Expendable Friend!

This EP is available on a pay-what-you-like basis, and every penny received will be donated to the big-hearted folks at Pro Dogs Direct (www.prodogsdirect.org.uk), who rescue and rehome unwanted dogs.

You can also donate directly to the charity by following the instructions on their website: www.prodogsdirect.org.uk#/donations/4585849129

Merry Christmas!

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released November 30, 2016

Written, performed and produced by Expendable Friend @ EF HQ.
Artwork by Fabienne.

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Expendable Friend England, UK

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