Christmas is not a time for being happy

by Expendable Friend

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It's CHRIIIIIIISTMASSSSSSSSSS! And now you can celebrate with 4 tracks of festive, acoustic goodness from Expendable Friend!

This EP is available on a pay-what-you-like basis, and every penny received will be donated to the big-hearted folks at Pro Dogs Direct (www.prodogsdirect.org.uk), who rescue and rehome unwanted dogs.

You can also donate directly to the charity by following the instructions on their website: www.prodogsdirect.org.uk#/donations/4585849129

Merry Christmas!

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released November 30, 2016

Written, performed and produced by Expendable Friend @ EF HQ.
Artwork by Fabienne.

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Track Name: Dachshund!
We get along like a house on fire
It's been a month and I really, really like you
Yeah I do
I hope you feel the same as me
I hope that you're as serious about this
As I am about you

So if you want to make me really happy
If you want to let me know how much you care
Here is a clue
If you want to demonstrate commitment
If you want to send a signal of your love
Here's what you should do

All I want for Christmas is a dachshund (dachshund!)
A dachshund (dachshund!)
All I want for Christmas is a dachshund (dachshund!)
A dachshund (dachshund!)
A waggy tail and soulful eyes!
Cuddles on a winter's night!
The three of us - our happy family!

I know you might think it's too soon
To talk about having fur-babies together
But I disagree
I think you'd make a perfect dad
I think you'll feel a deep sense of fulfilment
When two become three

So if you want to make a difference
If you want to show your caring side
To the world
If you want to make Christmas special
Listen up, and you might just win out
Over everyone else

Because all I want for Christmas is a dachshund (dachshund!)
A dachshund (dachshund!)
All I want for Christmas is a dachshund (dachshund!)
A dachshund (dachshund!)
All I want for Christmas is a dachshund (dachshund!)
A dachshund (dachshund!)
All I want for Christmas is a dachshund (dachshund!)
A dachshund (dachshund!)

DACHSHUND!!
Track Name: Made me wear it
How can I live with myself in these dark days?
How can I summon the strength to show my face?
You say you care for me, but I can see
The smirk you're wearing as you look at me

How can I live with myself after today?
The children stare as they point, their parents usher them away
"Oh Daddy, what's that lady's jumper for?
Why doesn't Santa have his trousers on?"

YOU MADE ME WEAR IT
YOU MADE ME WEAR IT
(And I won't forget it)

How can I live with myself in such disgrace?
How can I ever forget that this took place?
You say you care for me, and I might be glad
Because no-one else could in an outfit this bad
Track Name: (You didn't invite me to your) Christmas party
You didn't invite me to your Christmas party
Even though you knew that I was in
You didn't invite me, though you surely knew I'd hear it
Because the wall between our flats is paper-thin

What should I think; am I not worth an invite?
Maybe there were just too many to fit me in?
Maybe at the last one I did something stupid?
But I don't *think* I did...

You didn't invite me to your Christmas party
The one where you were playing drinking games
I tried not to hear it, but my TV doesn't
Go up loud enough to compensate

Why should I care if your friends had a great time
While I sat being lonely in my one-bedroom flat?
Watching repeats of Dad's Army and ET
In a tear-soaked Santa hat?

Because you didn't invite me...
Track Name: Is it January yet?
January, month of kings
(Month of kings)

Hark! Your credit card, it sings!
(La la la ooh)

Throw the dead tree in the bin
(Nice and brown)

Drag your flabby body to the gym!