Death by Tinsel

by Expendable Friend

Death by Tinsel cover art
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1.
04:11
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2.
01:20
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3.
03:02
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4.
03:55
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credits

released 01 December 2011
Written, recorded and produced by Expendable Friend. Artwork by the supremely talented Palo.

tags

tags: christmas pop tinsel Cambridge

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Track Name: Christmas in the supermarket
Can you tell from looking at me what I used to be?
Does my present, packaged form bear any similarity
To what you imagine
When you teach your children
The noises you hear on a farm?
So, here I am, and I'm hoping that you want me
Waiting for you to take me home

I was once a handsome beast, the biggest in the yard
Perfect if you need to feed an army like the one that's coming over and bringing
Other halves and children
You know that I'll fit the bill
So, here I am, won't you tell me that you want me?
Pick me up and take me to the till

And we'll be together!
You can introduce me to
All of the family
And I hope they'll like me too
Just, PLEASE, don't leave me here
I don't want to spend
Christmas in the supermarket!

So, here I am, I'm exactly what you need, and
If you will take my advice
You'll take me away and we'll have a perfect Christmas
Don't leave me laying....in the ice....
Track Name: What you really meant
When you said
"Let's not do presents this year, let's have a quiet day together"
I took that to mean
"Let's not do presents this year, let's have a quiet day together"

So I didn't get you anything
No nothing at all
I didn't get you anything
But APPARENTLY that was wrong

What you really meant was
"I've got you something really cool, but I'll pretend I've got you nothing"
Yeah, what you really meant was
"I've got you something really cool, but I'll pretend I've got you nothing"

Why, oh why?
Why, oh why?
Why, oh why do you ALWAYS do this?
Track Name: The purple ones
I am quite accepting of differences in life
Go and ask my closest friends, they'll tell you that it's right
I don't care if you're Muslim, a Christian or a Jew
And I won't judge according to the school that you went to
(It's not relevant)

But there's one thing that I can't be quite so accepting of
Men should all be equal, but chocolates should not
There's a clear hierarchy, and it's surely colour-based
Oranges and reds will rule, but I just can't stand the taste

Of the purple ones

Consider this a warning, as I pass the chocolate tin
Last time round you took a gold, so now do the decent thing
Cos if it gets back round to me and there's only purple left
It's like an anti-Christmas present, and I'll never let it rest
Track Name: Damp, grey, 5 degrees
I'm dreaming of a white Christmas Day
With a beautiful, blue sky and a frozen lake
We'll go for a walk and the snow will crunch under our boots
But everybody knows that it won't come true

We'll have damp, grey, 5 degrees
Damp, grey, 5 degrees
Damp, grey, 5 degrees again

I'm dreaming of a Christmas on a foreign beach
In the Southern hemisphere, out of winter's reach
Where we'd order cocktails and dangle our toes into the sea
But we can't afford the flights, so it's not to be

We'll have damp, grey, 5 degrees
Damp, grey, 5 degrees
Damp, grey, 5 degrees instead

And the sun will have set by 4:30
But the heating won't come on til 5
So we'll settle in front of the TV
And remain for the rest of the night

Cos it's damp, grey, 5 degrees
Damp, grey, 5 degrees
Damp, grey, 5 degrees outside

Yeah it's damp, grey, 5 degrees
Damp, grey, 5 degrees
Damp, grey, 5 degrees outside